It was Saturday night. Sue was the brightest star in the whole universe. Several netters were throwing a birthday party for her. Sue was particularly surprised and excited to see Leo, a humorous and matured gentleman. He was also younger than she thought. At the first sight of seeing him, she had determined to get close to him, really close.

Sue and Leo had been huddling together and flattering each other for a long time. Sue’s intelligence and gorgeous body impressed Leo. For better or worse, Sue was so open mind that she allowed him to “evaluate” her breast. The touch, like magic, broke down all the barriers between them. Sue felt a surge of urgency: she wanted to have him in whole, right now!

Sue completely lost her control. She ran around house naked, kissed Leo passionately, ignored all warnings from friends, and inevitably, had sex with Leo that night.

After Sue emerged from the basement the next morning, friends were mad at them. They reproached them openly. Adults, they accused, should be responsible for their behavior, let alone there were three kids in the house.

Sue felt depressed. Yes, she regretted doing that, but other people had no right to publicly accuse her. No one is perfect.

If only one person in the world who can understand Sue, it is Bill Clinton. As we all know, Bill spared some of his precious time flirting with his female interns and had sex with Monica Lewinsky. The details of the incidence were erotic, and political enemies almost overturned him because of the incidence. It was the darkest time in Bill’s career.

In fact, there are millions of people who will sympathize with Sue and Bill. One fourth of Americans have extramarital affairs. More than half of failed marriages break up because of spouse infidelity. Quantitatively, marriage infidelity is in epidemic.

Infidelity can damage spouse emotion and entrust, disrupt families, and in some cases, shake people’s belief. There is no doubt about it. Then why does it happen so often?

Evolutionists may predict that infidelity is unavoidable, as it is built in our genes. If we take a look at our animal relatives and our human history, promiscuity is the dominating form of sexual relationship. However, evolution theory cannot explain why some people are prone to extramarital sex while others are not.

The universal biological response to sex can’t explain infidelity either. For one thing, people don’t always arouse whenever they see an attractive person. We will appreciate gorgeous bodies, but few bodies will lead us think twice about what to do with them. It seems there must be something special in a person to incur further close relationship with him/her.

Like love, the initiation of extramarital affair is more likely by coincidence rather than planned, even though it may happen among long time friends. A friendly talk, a mutual fondness, and a physical contact may trigger the chain reaction. Just like in Sue’s situation, she didn’t prepare to have sex with somebody that night. It all occurred spontaneously. A man she liked, and a man admired her. However, mutual fondness won’t create sexual desire, and indeed the relationship often stops at that point. We need to know where the sex feeling comes from and how the feeling leads to an affair.

Studies have found that people with histrionic personality, which will cause impulsive behaviors, are more likely to have extramarital affairs. Not coincidently, it is the same impulsive feeling that incurs the romantic love. That is why young people, being impulsive and restless, are more likely to fall in love with somebody than old people do. That is also why many self-absorbed people such as early scholars remained bachelors in their whole lives. They don’t have that kind of feeling. Unfortunately, the impulsiveness may lead people to commit the sin again and again.

Anyway, everybody will have a rush of strange feelings toward lovable ones. The biggest problem is how to control it. Unfortunately, many people are not able to control it. The environment is so amiable; the person is so appealing; and the gorgeous body is too tempting. Worse, your disturbed mind may fancy two naked bodies rolling together. All these things serve as a rewarding system. The longer you two stay together, the more commonalities you will find between you two, and the farther you will slide to the wrong direction.

Probably, the best thing you can do is to leave the environment. Say bye-bye to him/her and talk to other people. If not possible, somebody else should save you from this dangerous romance. The reality is, however, that the force of extramarital sex always wins. The whole thing involves the addictive process. Retrospectively, most extramarital sex seems inevitable.

Sadly, self-control is often linked to morality, and there are far too many moralists. People who have extramarital affairs are labeled immoral, irresponsible, and unforgivable. However, that is unfair. When it comes to sex, few people can resist the temptation. History gave us too many examples, and our peers prove it every day. It is a sin everybody may commit. It is more like a disease that needs to be cured rather than a moral problem that deserves to be condemned.

To err is human, and to forgive is divine. Just like any wrongdoings people may commit, they were forgivable. If the accused have realized their mistakes, they are still good people and should be given a chance to redeem themselves. After all, family is bonded by love, not by sex.

Now here is the big question, when facing a person—not necessary beautiful but attractive in some way, should you follow your feelings and just do it?

A second question, is there any merit to have online friends? Or, as somebody puts it, soulmates?