Today, I finally bought a Dell laptop 700m, the slimmest laptop you can find in Dell. However, I still felt gloomy. It has been a long story to reach this end.

When Dell first offered a $750 discount for any $1499 plus purchase this early spring, most people I know of rushed to buy this model (and indeed saved money because there was no tax charge then). Since I already had one Dell laptop, I did not pay any attention to it. The problem is that my wife likes small gadgets. She was jealous of her friends for the light laptops shinning in their backpacks. It became clear that my bulgy laptop (more than 8 pounds without a carrying case) was out of fashion. My wife complained to me that she felt embarrassed when she pulled our junk out of the carrying case, especially in front of her colleagues. Time has come to make a change.

Well, my laptop is only less than three years’ old. There is not much technical advance in the PC world except that new laptops are slimmer. But if there is a need, there is a way.

I have been closely monitoring the Dell’s deals since then. There are many deals. The lowest and regular one is 10-30% off the labeled price (all before tax and shipping fee). In addition to the regular % off deals, Dell has offered big deals such as $600 or $500 off $1600 purchase, 35% off, $250 rebate as well as 10% off, $750 off at several minimal purchase levels, and a free 64M memory key and/or a printer as well as a $5-600 off for every $1600 plus purchase (sounds equivalent to the $750 deal). Every day, Dell has some deals going on. Every few days, the big deals will reappear in slightly different forms. Most of the time, Dell has limited the quota for each big offer—you need hurry to benefit from Dell’s generosity. It is a privilege to take the offer. How ridiculous!

I once missed a $750 deal (just about half an hour after the quota reached). I called the Dell. The person over the other end couldn’t decide if I could get that offer after the expiration. The manager came down and told me that I could have a $600 discount with a $1400 minimal purchase. After some quick calculations, I rejected the alternative offer. The difference? Less than $100. It was not worthy anyway.

The catch in all these deals is the fine print –“some restrictions may apply.” It is the major weapon Dell (and all other business) uses to scoop money from you. For most deals, you have to spend some minimal amount money to enjoy the discount. That is, although you can sometimes customize your computer in whatever way you want, you have to somehow reach the minimal purchase amount. This is one of the tricks Dell is playing.

Besides the above minimal purchase, the second trick Dell plays is to preselect models and parts you should buy to take the discount. For example, when you purchase a model, Dell forces you to buy a longer warranty or unnecessary upgrades. You practically end up spending more money than you have planned. Last month, when the $750 discount appeared again, it included a two-year warranty and some prime services (which was more than $150). I found it distasteful.

Another trick Dell plays is to raise price for models and parts during the promotion. The basic models are usually very low end. A 128MB memory and 40 GB hard drive laptop is so twentieth century that if you want to have a usable one, you have to purchase more memory, longer battery life, and larger hard drive. These upgrades are obnoxiously overpriced. For instance, in today’s deal, the laptop price for the basic model was $1260 (with one year prime warranty). After adding more memory and hard driver space, the price went up to $1600. There was not much saving after all.

I have to agree that Dell is smart and plays psychology very well. By downgrading its basic models, Dell claims the lowest price of all. People won’t know the subtle difference among so many brands. Instead, they blindly enjoy the low price. Furthermore, human beings respond to incentives. Every time when Dell offers big deals, they are taken away quickly. The periodic big deals also like intermittent rewards. They attract people to seize the opportunity to buy. The quota for each deal make buyers think they have earned some sort of privileges or group affiliation. It is so interesting to see how Dell manipulates common people’s minds.

you may wonder that after offering so many different discounts to its customers, how Dell can make money. It is because Dell plays business games very well—touting customers, overpricing upgrades, and selling junk PC to education and government sectors. On the other hand, Dell’s customer service is mediocre at the best. The product qualities are decreasing. Dell has been well established as a cheap brand. However, with the demise of many small PC makers and the tactical retreat of IBM and HP, Dell is the largest and the only profitable PC maker in the US.

In the PC battlefield, Dell is a winner after all.