The February issue of the National Geographic featured a story of love: how it begins, how it happens, and how it ends. The article itself is a scientific report but is written in a way like a narrative blog post, casual and interesting.

To most people, falling in love means blood rushing to the head, heart pumping frantically, and breathes becoming shallow and irregular. The mind is practically locked whenever you see your loved one. Love comes before your realize it. Sure, without a cool head, people become foolish and act foolishly.

Neurobiologically, romantic love is similar to obsessive compulsive disorder. Both involve a neurotransmitter, dopamine, in caudate nucleus where the reward system works. The brain serotonin level is also lower in lovebirds than that of normal people, although the exact biological mechanism is unknown.

However, the most important thing is not how love arises (because it comes to you without your consent) but how it fades (and it goes without your notice too). All adults will agree that romantic love will not last forever. The chemicals will “run out,” or the receptors for the chemicals will be “desensitized.” As a matter of fact, half of marriages in the US end up divorce, and the highest rate occurs from year three to seven.

So how do happy couples maintain their marriages?

Again, it is said another chemical, oxytocin, is responsible for the long term companionship love. Some rodents’ brains will secret abundant oxytocin during the first copulation to secure a monogamous bond. It is highly possible that human beings may have similar mechanism to ensure a happy marriage.

So are we ready to abandon the Freudian theory about Oedipus complex or anal sucking love? Well, it may be too soon to bury such a fascinating theory. The theory is still useful to explain, probably philosophically, the irrational thinking and weird behavior among people madly in love.

In addition, evolutionary psychology is always a fun topic to talk. In terms of love, evolutionary theory focuses on the behavior of love, that is, choosing a mate. Men choose mates who are good at bearing children, and women pick men who are muscular, healthy, and in modern days, wealthy. Because women serve a critical role in transmitting genes, they are the major choosers in this mating game.

Here is something that the article didn’t talk about. People now date over the internet, and indeed quite a few succeed. On the internet, people actually don’t know each other thoroughly before initiating any real contact. All they have is basic information, hobbies, and targeting mate. People “talked” to each other in email before phone call or video. It is a bit strange that text materials can stimulate similar chemical reactions and push people down further on the love road. Maybe 21th century is really an intellectual century. People get attracted to each other first because of intelligence, and then for physical body. The dimensions of how love works are expanded.

It seems that love is purely chains of chemical reactions, but I believe there is still something magic in it.